Reflection.

I hopped on the computer after we arrived back from the beach and Erin asked if I was blogging.  I said no, that I wasn't quite sure what to write yet.  Dinner passed and we sat around until my dad took the spot of Pastor Strom and sparked the end of the week, god-moment conversation.  We started with the newbies and heard their thoughts on the week.  Then it was our turn...it seemed as if the reoccurring theme of everyone's reflection was that none of us were quite sure how to feel as we leave Haiti once again.  Some were a little disappointed in terms of production or were not sure how to process the thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc. that are flowing through us at this point.  When it came around to Dave's turn, he made a great point, we are all just a piece of the fabric of time.  We will make our mark in these people's lives, as they will in ours, no matter how much or how little physical work we do while we're here.  And that made me think and I know it made my dad think because it was his turn next and he thanked Dave for reminding him how selfish we can be.  Here we are feeling sad or a little disappointed that we might not have gotten done what we expected when that is not what this trip is about in the first place.  This trip has been absolutely different than last year's trip.  As Jan just said (about 10 seconds ago), we have been more immersed into Haitian culture, into the every day lives of these people.  The trip has been a rollercoaster to say the least but the biggest thing that I am taking with me is that whatever feelings I may feel or everyone else in the crew may feel, good or bad, are a test.  God is testing us.  For us "oldies" who might be feeling a little indifferent about this week, I see it as God's way of shaking us back to our core.  He hit us with a lot of love and inspiration last year and we went away feeling great.  This year is not necessarily the same.  He hit us with a ton of adversity and chaos and the way we decide to react to what he is dishing up to us will tell all (at least in my opinion).  This realization has come as a surprise to me, just in the last 20 minutes when it popped into my head because religion and God things have not been my forte for the last 8-9 years.  Last year, however, flipped a switch in my head.  I wasn't quite sure what was going on, how to process the extremely strong emotions I was feeling and it wasn't until my dad wrote me a letter a few weeks after we came back that I realized what was happening.  He saw God working through me with the kids, with the guys I befriended, with the journey I was just beginning.  This year I have come to terms with that and have made some realizations of my own.  At this point God is working in the most mysterious ways but for some reason I feel peace in my heart because I know that eventually all of the pieces of the puzzle will fit together.

Pride.

Yesterday morning my dad and I had the pleasure of visiting Stevenson's house. (it was the second time for me)  Around 10:30 we followed Stevenson down to what was the tent city last year, so that he could show my dad his home and then get ready for school.  Now I've noticed that when Stevenson gets excited his voice gradually gets higher.  As he opened the door to his house I heard him squeal, "You see my house!!!!!" Although I couldn't see his face, I can only imagine the huge smile that was probably spread across it.  He showed my dad his backpack, which was in his room.  The day before when I came to his house with a bigger group he didn't show us his room.  My dad asked if the room was his and he said, yes, he and his sister shared it.  I couldn't correctly tell you how big it was but you can imagine that it wasn't big enough for two people.  I believe that what he and his sister sleep on is no thicker than one inch, if that, but by god was he proud of it.  It brought tears to my eyes, yet again.  We shared "god things" again after dinner yesterday and someone brought up how they were struck by the immense faith that the Haitian people have and how easy it is to tell that they are so close with God.  I thought to myself, maybe it is because they don't have so many things to get in the way of their relationship with God.  There aren't an abundance of computers, cars, houses, material possessions, etc., that take over their lives therefore they don't act as a distraction to them.  However, what they do have is an extreme pride in being Haitian, something that is so obvious and so remarkable. 

The rooster next door roused me from my bed about fifteen minutes ago (5am) so I decided to come up to the roof and write from here while I enjoy the Haitian sunrise.  Today marks the 2nd anniversary of the earthquake and we've heard that there is a huge parade/street ceremony this afternoon that we'll hopefully attend.  So, more to come.

Roberto.

Many of you know about my beloved Roberto.  If you don't, you will after this post.  Roberto, who is pictured on the right in my profile pic on facebook, was one of the people I met last year in Haiti.  He, Douge, and I became very close and since I've been back I think I've asked every single person where he is.  I was feeling a little bratty the last few days because he was the only person I hadn't reunited with.  This morning we hopped into the van and I asked Sydney where we were going and she told us back to the old work site.  Well needless to say I got very anxious and played out in my head what I would do if Roberto happened to be there.  We got out of the van and I looked into the distance and saw two guys but couldn't quite tell who they were.  One was taller than the other, but I was looking straight into the sun so I wasn't sure if it was Douge and Roberto or if I was just staring at strangers.  I walked towards them and realized it was them!  I struggled to run across the rocks to hug Roberto just like I planned out in my head.  Neither of us could think of anything to say....keep in mind I had to translate everything I was thinking into Spanish and with all of that adrenaline pumping through my veins, I was speechless at that point.  He met everyone else and said hi to those he already knew.  A bunch of us took a walk down the hill to the former tent city and he and I caught up on everything we missed out on in the last year.  I was overjoyed (and still am) to say the least.  We met up with Stevenson and he invited us to see his house.  He was so happy to show Erin and I, and everyone else, where he lived and even brought out the backpack that I gave him to show me!  It felt so good to be back at the work site.  Being back has exceeded all of my expectations thus far and I can't describe how extremely thankful I am to be here. 

My brother.

I feel like this year I am creating posts that are dedicated to people or a feeling/emotion rather than making them diary-like.  I want to remember how exactly I am feeling and writing these posts is helping me do just that. Today/tonight I wanted to dedicate my post to my brother, Stevenson.  I wasn't sure what to expect coming back to Haiti.  I had these expectations that I would see everyone that  I met last year and that they would remember all of us, as we do them.  As the trip got closer, I realized that I might have to lower these expectations because a year had passed and who knows where all of these people could be located.  I was overjoyed to see 2 familiar faces on Sunday and thought, this is more than I expected.  Then we went to the work site from last year and reunited with Stevenson.  I can barely type these words without crying out of pure joy. He showed up to the guest house (where we're working) this morning and greeted me with a, "Hi sister!" Later when there was a lull in the work, he told another guy standing with us, "this is my daddy," and pointed to my dad.  My dad always jokes that Erin is the son he never had (because she is an avid sports watcher) but hearing that from Stevenson is completely different.  Pastor asked us at dinner tonight to share any "god moments" or "god things" to talk about.  This was my response: this afternoon we were hauling clay/dirt from the back of the guest house to the front to spread in a landscaping area.  Stevenson was breaking up the dirt and shoveling it into buckets, then Erin and I were carrying the buckets to the area.  I thought to myself as I walked back and forth, look at us, our family.  My sister, my brother, and I working together.  I can't explain the immense happiness that ran through me at that time and continues to fill me.  My dad, sister and I all recalled moments including Stevenson for our "god things" and I think that shows just how much he means to my family. 

We worked at the guest house, moving a lot of rocks and dirt, leveling out the open space.  We played with kids.  Erin, in her natural state, had a little boy, no more than 3, fall asleep on her lap for a good hour.  Beckie played with kids, talked extensively with new friends, she's soaking it all in and it makes me so happy to see her and my sister experiencing what I did and more.  We enjoyed a delicious dinner and played a rousing game of Quiddler (which I won, just in case anyone wanted to know).  All is wonderful here.

Blessed.

Blessed.  A heavy word, used often...today in particular.  I feel extremely blessed to have the opportunity to be here, again.  The crew and I felt blessed to witness the amazing church service this morning, where we were told that the congregation was blessed to have us here. This evening we had the opportunity to go and watch a variety show meets youth night-type program at the church where we sang, danced, and had a great time.  At dinner, Beckie, Erin and I spent time with our new friend Junior who blessed our meal before we ate and ended our dinner by telling us, "God Bless You."  I could sit here and recount the events of our afternoon hour by hour, but I think that by saying I feel extremely blessed to be here and to have the opportunities that are presented to us say it all.  I do not have the words to express how I feel about this beautiful country and the people who inhabit it.  In one day's time I can honestly say that I am having the time of my life.  I have already met new people and spent my afternoon constantly laughing and smiling.  I was curious and a little afraid that my second trip here would not have the impact on me that it did the first time.  I was wrong.  I can only imagine the knowledge and love that will further fill my heart after one week.

To those of you reading this, thank you.  I am thrilled to be able to share my journey in Haiti once again.

A New Year

It's hard to believe that we're back in Haiti.  We haven't even been in the country 24 hours and the experience has already exceeded my expectations.  We got into Port au Prince in the late afternoon yesterday and hopped on two mini buses.  I must say that the capital looks 100xs better than what I remember from last year.  Roads have been built and the streets seem much cleaner.  Traffic, however, is the same, as well as the style of driving.  Personally, I find it entertaining.  We stopped briefly before we ventured into the mountains and at that point Jan said, "Our lives are now in the hands of Jesus and Jimi (the driver)."  It was definitely different whipping around the curves on the mountains in the dark rather than during the day, but we made it here safely.  This year we're staying much closer to the church and the the work site from last year.  The Isaiah 61 House is located in the downtown area of Jacmel.  If you're curious, google "Isaiah 61 House, Jacmel, Haiti" and you should be able to see some pictures.  We enjoyed a delicious dinner of red beans and rice, chicken, and salad before heading to bed later in the evening.  Church was at 8am this morning and we were happily surprised to find a beautiful pavillion-esque structure filled with several rows of wooden benches.  This structure is located behind where the "church" was last year (which was made up of 3-4 tents).  The service was beautiful as always and we were able to see both the men's and women's choir sing, both of which were excellent.  I know I mentioned this last year, but the faith and the passion that the Haitian people have for religion and worship is astounding.  Simply listening to them sing still brings tears to my eyes.  About halfway through the service I spotted my friend Douge walking up to the church.  I didn't think I would run into him at church since we interacted on the work site last year. I couldn't catch his eye during church but after Pastor Kessa introduced us I think he recognized those of us who were here last year.  He immediately made his way over to say hi after church was over.  It wasn't 5 minutes after seeing him that I turn around and recognize another friend, Antonio, one of my little men that hung around with us last year.  I saw him eyeing my nametag and felt like I could see him making the connection.  I smiled at him and he immediately exclaimed, "Megan!"  We talked for a bit and he said hi to the others before we headed to see the guest house.  Last year the house was only in the beginning stages of being built and we were excited to see that it is built, painted, and almost done on the inside.  Hopefully we'll be able to stay there next year when we come down.  Next we headed to the work site from last year where we saw 15-20 beautifully painted houses, some of which were a product of the work we did last year.  I felt pretty distracted the whole time I was at the work site because deep down I was hoping to see more familiar faces.  Antonio and all of the boys from last year lived down the hill in the tent city that we visited.  Stevenson (the boy my family sponsors) also lives down there.  I couldn't help but look closely at all of the people we saw, hoping to see someone I know.  As we were standing around admiring the houses and the progress I turned around to see Stevenson walking towards us with Antonio.  I think I screamed, to which he responded with something similar.  Hugging him brought tears to my eyes.  And then my dad saw him.  I don't think I've ever seen him happier.  Neither of them could stop hugging each other.  Then Stevenson said to us, "I pray for you every day.  I love you."  We asked him how school was, how his family was, as much as we possibly could.  We introduced him to Erin and he was equally as excited to meet her.  After talking with Stevenson (with the help of Pastor Kessa) we were able to tell him where we will be working and he said he'll be able to come see us in the mornings before he goes to school.  I told Douge to tell my other friend Roberto that I said hi.  I'm hoping to see him at some point this week.  Hopefully word will spread that we're back and we will be able to see our friends.
  Needless to say this day has been nothing less that amazing.  I can only hope that this trip will bring as much joy, if not more, to my life than it did last year.